Faith through fire
Little Judi, on the right.
It is a question that many people have asked: If God is good, why do bad things happen? I know that I have struggled with this very question.
I want to tell you a story about a girl named Judi. Judi was the youngest girl in a family of 6. She looked similar to her brother and sisters except for one thing; her skin was very dark. She would ask her mother why but was never given a straight answer.
When Judi was nine years old, her father began abusing her. Finally, when she was sixteen, Judi ran away from home. However, she was found and placed in a juvenile detention facility, where more abuse happened. She suffered greatly. Judi was a free spirit. Everyone liked her sharp wit and sarcastic personality. But she did not like herself.
When she turned 18, Judi was released. After a few months, she fell in love with a man named Claud. Shortly after, they were married and had a family of their own. It was the 1960s. Because Claud was white and Judi's skin was so dark, they faced a lot of prejudice. Nevertheless, they were happy to welcome their four children into their lives.
Judi was a perfect housekeeper, but she could not find satisfaction in her role as a wife and mother. She intensely disliked herself. She struggled with shame and guilt because of everything she had been through. She did not think she deserved this perfect life she had been given.
Loss came into Judi's life when her mother passed away. While her mother was lying on her deathbed, she finally told Judi the truth about who she was. The man that Judi had always thought was her father was not. Her birth father was a Native American man who had passed away ten years before. So, Judi was raised with a lie, but she was also prevented from experiencing the truth. She felt cheated and so angry.
Things seem to change in Judi from that point. She began to make self-destructive choices with her life and those of her children. Judi started to leave her children with strangers, drinking heavily and smoking. She left her husband.
Judi began to steal. She cashed checks that were not hers. Next, Judi staged a break-in at her house for insurance money. This, understandably, frightened her children. She eventually burned that house down while her children were at school. During these events, no one came alongside Judi or the family. No friends, family, or even social workers seem to notice.
Judi was in such torment. She did not want to do these things, but she could not seem to help herself. While all her children were sleeping one night, she lit their new house on fire. She was motivated again by an insurance payout, but she ensured the children got out safely. Finally, she was caught and sent to prison. Her children were sent to various relatives.
What a sad and terrible story. People do these things. Bring more sin into their lives from their brokenness and pass it on to their children. It's generational. Why Lord, do bad things happen?
But that's not the end of the story...
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Judi was my mother. When she went to prison, I went to live with my father, a new Christian. He brought me to church and worked very hard so that I could go to a Christian school. He loved me. At last, I was safe.
God has given me a special love for my mother. She's now gone to Heaven, and I know I will see her again. But there was no question that she loved us. I now understand how she struggled with her childhood demons, having struggled with my own.
Sometimes people make decisions for us, and we suffer those consequences alongside them. But God does make beauty from ashes. If she had not gone to prison, she might not have gotten the help she needed; she may not have found Christ, and I might not have either.
So, this is what we must do When bad things happen; we must try and look beyond today and believe that God has our best interest at heart. He is good, and good will come of it. Find faith and hope. It is difficult, but I have seen God do amazing things. I'm sure you have to! Concentrate on those times that He has been with you. Hold on to Him. Beauty is coming.
I would love to hear your story!
