Rest
I had a wonderful day. Or I should have had. I was able to spend time with my amazing husband and my grandson. We didn't do anything fancy. We played cards and had some dinner. Yet, underneath the surface, I was struggling. I found myself being impatient, edgy, and irritable for no reason.
I couldn't enjoy myself.
Instead of relishing these amazing moments, I found myself thinking about all the things I had to do. I felt guilty that I wasn’t working and then guilty that I couldn’t be present. My husband looked at me with concern and even asked if I was okay, which only irritated me more. I knew I was acting silly, and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Why couldn't I be present in the moment?
I try to spend time with my husband, who works long hours, and my grandchildren whenever possible. I've never been so busy with things to do for the Lord. And I'm so happy about that. I’m in seminary and actively involved in my church, including volunteering, leading a small group, and some mentoring, along with all my regular writing.
I'm blessed all the way around, so why can't I just slow down and enjoy? Instead, I feel like Martha, distracted from what's important.
When your “good deeds” are taking you away from God, it’s time to rest.
The truth is, I'm exhausted and feeling guilty all the way around. This is not what Christ wants. Moreover, it is not the behavior that he modeled for us. He rested. He spent time alone with the Lord.
Dear Lord, please slow my heart down to focus on you and the blessings in my life. May I glorify you with my heart and deeds. Amen.
I would love to hear your thoughts! Are your “good deeds” for the Lord taking you away from quiet time with him?
